okay so my birthday is on the 13th. which was yesterday. yay congratz! i'm 19 now haha yada yada partyyyy.
actually. no.
i mean, my life as a teenager is coming to an end (this is practically my LAST age that has the phrase 'teen' entangled on it. nineTEEN?) and life as a tynager is about to begin (twenTY. get the point?) so whats there to CELEBRATE?
i've been thinking about it, and my thoughts said that my 19th birthday was so OVERRATED. Or at least i felt like it was. Of course, as a child, the word "birthday" mattered like NOTHING else to me back then, you know, balloons cakes and kids and candles and presents bla bla yada yada, but now it's a whole lot different matter. Because now, the word "birthday" does not make that much SENSE like it was a few years ago.... weird huh?
Birthday makes you realize that you are aging, that you have a sort of biological clock which is tick-tocking its way out until it stops...
BIRTHDAY MAKES YOU FEEL OLD, WRINKLY, AND FAT. BUT MOSTLY OLD.
having people came and cheered "Happy BIRTHDAY omg, you're 19 now. hahaha" "Haii. Oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY, your 19 or what now? hahaha" like OKAY I GET IT I'M 19 IM OLD OKAY I DONT NEED YOU GUYS TO REMIND ME EVERY GODDAMN SECOND! like, ENOUGH okay?
it's weird, right? those people were never intended to offense me by any means. then why am i so annoyed by them?
But don't get me wrong. i 100% APPRECIATE you guys for wishing me a Happy Birthday and stuffs, i do, they do make me HAPPY... But then, i also UNDERSTAND that sometimes wishing someone a happy birthday is not just an emotional outburst, but also a DUTY to run. Like if you don't wish him a happy birthday, he will remember you and when your birthday comes he won't say a word to you. Stuff like that DOES exist you know. at least they do in my mind.
RECEIVING a 'Happy Birthday' is obviously another different set of WERQ. I have quite a lot of 'Happy Birthday's stamped on my facebook wall and i have replied EVERY SINGLE one of them, unconditionally. i mean that's the rule right? They give, you recieve and BE grateful. What's so difficult about being grateful. We don't actually have to mean it to the level of subconsciousness. Just showing it is enafffff.
Still wanna have birthday? okay let me dispel another thing. I realize that you tend to have MORE friends on your birthday than you actually are on a daily regular basis. I looked at my facebook wall and WOW my wall was suffocated by peoples' wishes on my upcoming year. I know some of them just as regular friends. Some are long-gone friends. Some are complete strangers. Only a few, a little tiny part of them are the people that i know by heart. So if you're still getting away on your birthday thinking that "oh my godd. look at ALL MY FRIENDS they really care about me. omg i love them so much", THINK AGAIN (bold and italic), cause when all the euphoria is over,almost none will stand there to clean the ashes ALONG with you. NONE!!!
Ha. this whole birthday madness makes me look like an emotionless birthday tyrant no? But hey. This is just another thoughts and speculations that my mind formulate randomly with no means to harm others! I am 19 and i think i can declare myself as "mature enough" to formulate and speak up my own thoughts FREELY with no pressure whatsoever. I was born in the 20th century and now im living in the 21st century you see, i MADE it through a CENTURY so please grant me the liberation and autonomy already! But then again, there is nothing that can definitely measure "maturity" up until now. Not even age. There's no magnitude to "maturity" as it is a very subjective matter. Of course you're all aware of that.
so what was my POINT again?
My point is..
Special thankss to the PEOPLE who have wished me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY cause yesterday kinda was a 'HAPPY' BIRTHDAY! Special thanks to GALIH, DYAT and DTANG (i believe Andika came merely by force, but THANKS anyway) WHO HAVE AWAKEN ME IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOG HOWLING MIDNIGHT JUST TO MAKE ME BLOW 8 STUPID CANDLES ON A CRAZILY DELICIOUS CAKE. I LOVE IT AND I LOVE YOU GUYSSS. AND ALSO TO MARIA AND ELIZABETH FOR THE MIDNIGHT YEE YEE CALL. OMG I MISS DOING STUFFS LIKE THAT WITCHALL. I HOPE IM GOING TO JKT SOON TO CATCH UP WIT YOUR NOW FAB AND JETSET LIFE.
but then,i never tried to make any point, i guess :p
okay maybe i have one.
that smoking is THE swagger and THE lung cancer. weighing between those two, THE lung cancer def win. so it is MUCH MUCH MUCH better to have a stupid overrated birthday than to have cigs on those pretty lips.baboosh
Postingan
